Free Write (nonsense)

So i decided that I will have a free write session right now. I am just going to type whatever pops into my brain and not worry about the grammar and punctuation and those other mumble jumble. I know that this is going to sound very confusing and all, but I really dont feel like organizing it under any specific thing right now. I am not in the mood, so here it goes. Whats up? What has been up with me? Lately, as cliche as this sounds, nothing much. Its the god awful truth though. I havent been doing anything. I have taken on a guilty pleasure that I am not too proud of but find very amusing. I have started watching some....brace yourself....dont think less of me...i am not a nerd....anime. Yes I said it! But it just to buy time until I figure something out. Boy, now that is the biggest denial, nonsensical lie. Thats an interesting thing, doing something in the mean time until you figure things out- the act of creating a temporary situation. That is the reasoning people use when they find a temporary job for the mean time and find themselves 20 years later doing the same exact thing. Where am I going with this.... well its not the anime I am angry at... its the idea of doing something until I figure something out. I dont think I am really going to figure anything out. That is what I believe. All my friends are heading back to school soon and winter break hasnt been too great. I admit its been good and somewhat fun, but not really what any of us hoped for. I am not going to be able to figure something out before they leave. I am lazy. I hate it. I hate that age old statement. "Lets do something!" The only real response is "do what" and that is usually retorted back with "anything!"WHAT THE FUCK IS ANYTHING. Nothing seems appealing anymore. everyone wants to do something, but no one knows what. but i dont know why i am using the word "anymore." to be honest, we felt the same way every year of our lives. we just dont remember. we get too lost in the nostalgia to care. anyway i am heading on a tangent.... um. lets go back to the question. How am I? I want to say that I am in a slump, but after much much consideration, reminiscing, and reflecting, I figured out that I always feel this way. I am always bitching about women. I told kevin this. Taking into consideration that this is how I normally am, I must say I feel the normal. I think I should end this cause its turning rather complicated and jumbled, but hey this is a free write. i will probably work on a new years/2008 goodbye in bit, I just wanted to get the juices flowing.