"A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart."
I have a vision of the future. For the last several days, it constantly plays in my head. When my mind wanders, it finds its way there--in a time and place of uncertainty. I find myself afraid, anxious, nervous, and hopeful. Its there I see my life and its there I see... I don't like to get too detailed and too descriptive about dreams--for they exist in a different reality and they always seem just at the fingertips. able to barely graze its side before it finds its way into the abyss of some inopportune time. I dont want ruin this by telling the world. I dont want to jinx it. I want to cherish it, to pull it close and cover its face so it never has to see the ugly truth, to be part of the system of impossibility.
I hold in my heart ambivalence. I always wait for tomorrow, never understanding that it will never arrive.
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